Anthony ‘Tony’ Carragher of Charleville, County Cork died suddenly at his home on Wednesday. A loving husband and devoted father, he broke free from his mortal coils when his testicles were cut off, his throat slit and his tongue pulled out through the slit after his wife discovered him having his sixth and final affair. Survived by his wife Linda, his daughter Sarah, his lovers Giggly Tits, Pussy Feathers, Adolf Titler and Anal Annie.

Mass Saturday at 11:30am.

Burial afterwards in Charleville Cemetery.