Sort of related to my last post, but this one actually happened. For about two years, up until recently I lived next door to a guy, who was a complete asswipe. I mean, he really drove me mad, him and his wife.
From Monday to Friday, this guy was as quiet as a mouse, he was always polite and pleasant to talk to. He would always come out at Christmas, knock on the door and give some present and a Christmas card.
The problem with this guy was every weekend starting on Friday and going right through until Sunday, he would play music at full volume, all night, now I know some people use ‘all night’ as a sort of cliché and they do not mean it, like someone might say ‘we were at a party, and we stayed up all night’ but it is just a way of saying ‘we went to bed really late.’
I, on the other hand, literally mean all night, the music would not stop until 9.00am, having started around 9.00 or 10.00 pm the night before. And he played such bizarre music. He obviously had a collection of theme songs, from television shows like Knight Rider and movies like Titanic, the two songs that he played on loop throughout the night were the theme tune from Knight Rider and Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On, and it did go on, and on, and on, all fecking night.
This happened every weekend, so he needed to have a little talking to. He apologized. He would turn the music down. It was all very civil. Peace talks initiated. Problem solved.
However, he did it again and again Fuck it. There goes Celine again. There goes the theme tune from Knight Rider again and again God, how I hate that show. And it did not matter how many times he was spoken to. Texts were sent to his mobile phone during the night; Turn it down. Music too loud.
He always apologized the next day, but it was quite obvious that two-thirds of fuck all was going to happen. I was right. It continued and then when I was considering phoning his landlord and having the lunatic thrown out, through quitting his job, he could no longer afford the rent of the house and had to move, and silence took his place.
Now every time I hear My Heart Will Go On, or I see or hear anything to do with Knight Rider; I think of his face staring up at me from a pit of Zombeavers.