I knew this guy who had a dog, and he called him Stay. Whenever he was calling he would say: Come here, Stay. After a few months the dog went insane and spontaneously combusted.
Just joking. My dog just farts and barks a lot. He is getting a bit grey around the snout and the older he gets, the grumpier he gets, in the mornings he just grunts and growls at me for no reason, until he goes for his walk and then he is all smiley faced, don’t tell me dogs can’t smile because they can. He is loyal, sleeps outside my bedroom door and probably saved my life the night two guys tried to get in to the house via the backyard and I am pretty sure he took a chunk out of the one that wrestled me to the ground, seconds before the guy ran on to a dustbin and jumped over the wall in to the next door neighbors lawn.
They say dogs are man’s best friend but I wonder what they see when they look at us, I guess from the dogs point of view, he sees his owner as some kind of mutated, elongated and exceptionally cunning dog. It’s kind of like being best friends with the smartest kid in the school. You know the one that won young Scientist of the Year for The Construction And Use Of A Spectro-photometer To Investigate Complex Ion Formation In A Transition Metal, stick close to that guy, he is going to come in handy later on in life.
Back to dogs. A small dog, a heartbeat at my feet. Dogs are a great friend, though. Someone once told me that dogs give unconditional love, the perfect model for human life really. In Cork city I once saw Happiness Is A Warm Gun spray-painted across the front of a building. A few days later someone had come along with blue spray-paint and painted over Gun and replaced it with puppy.
Dogs have a great approach to life, they look at everything and they either eat it, piss on it or fuck it. You can’t argue with that, well you could but you’d be wrong.