Month: April 2012

I’ll Take A Dogs Life ‘Cause I Don’t Care For This One

I knew this guy who had a dog, and he called him Stay. Whenever he was calling he would say: Come here, Stay. After a few months the dog went insane and spontaneously combusted.

Just joking. My dog just farts and barks a lot. He is getting a bit grey around the snout and the older he gets, the grumpier he gets, in the mornings he just grunts and growls at me for no reason, until he goes for his walk and then he is all smiley faced, don’t tell me dogs can’t smile because they can. He is loyal, sleeps outside my bedroom door and probably saved my life the night two guys tried to get in to the house via the backyard and I am pretty sure he took a chunk out of the one that wrestled me to the ground, seconds before the guy ran on to a dustbin and jumped over the wall in to the next door neighbors lawn.

They say dogs are man’s best friend but I wonder what they see when they look at us, I guess from the dogs point of view, he sees his owner as some kind of mutated, elongated and exceptionally cunning dog. It’s kind of like being best friends with the smartest kid in the school. You know the one that won young Scientist of the Year for The Construction And Use Of A Spectro-photometer To Investigate Complex Ion Formation In A Transition Metal, stick close to that guy, he is going to come in handy later on in life.

Back to dogs. A small dog, a heartbeat at my feet. Dogs are a great friend, though. Someone once told me that dogs give unconditional love, the perfect model for human life really. In Cork city I once saw Happiness Is A Warm Gun spray-painted across the front of a building. A few days later someone had come along with blue spray-paint and painted over Gun and replaced it with puppy.

Dogs have a great approach to life, they look at everything and they either eat it, piss on it or fuck it. You can’t argue with that, well you could but you’d be wrong.

Daylight Comes, Our Heaven’s Torn To Hell

Stuff I learnt this week:

There are no facts, only interpretations.

Anxiety is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere.

When something is new and improved. Which is it? If it’s new, then there had never been anything before it. If it is an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

This post took more time than I would care to admit, but time is an illusion created by humans to put the pretence of order in to a world created and governed by anarchy and chaos…and illusions are a waste of time.

Put On A Poncho, Played For Mosquito’s And Drank ‘Till I Was Thirsty Again

For the last 3 weeks, not far from where I live, there have been a group of workers from Irish Cement striking and protesting against pay and conditions. They walk around the roundabout with their neon yellow jackets, protests signs and flags fluttering in the air. I see them two or three times a week. They are protesting that Irish Cement is ignoring a Labour Court ruling to pay incremental increases to their wages. Basically, Irish Cement is refusing  to honour its obligations  unless the staff agree to a pay cut of 15-18%, got that? They won’t pay them their full salary until they agree to not be paid their full salary. Hello Mr Rock I would l like you to meet my cousin Mr Hard Place.

It’s not the first strike to take place recently, like chickenpox they are everywhere. The vita Cortex workers in Cork, Ireland have been staging a sit-in at the Vita Cortex plant since mid-December in a dispute over redundancy pay. Management closed the Kinsale Road plant, laying off all the worker and claiming that they could no longer afford to pay its employers any statutory redundancy. Go on, piss off now, like good little peasants. This is not your democracy, this is our democracy.

Workers for mobile phone giant Vodafone went on strike after Vodafone decided to outsource 300 call centre jobs. I can remember not so long ago there was a teachers strike, and now having seen all the other strikers and their protests, I have to admit that the teachers strike was by far the best, expertly timed and confidently organized and executed. It was a master-class in sticking it to The Man. It’s almost like they had 12 paid weeks off in the summer to plan it.

The rest of the disgruntled workers could learn a thing or two from the teachers, if they weren’t too busy, you know, working and stuff. Personally I’m done with strikes, they are a borefest, no creativity at all, just walking around with placards, so I am organizing my own strike as I go about protesting about the amount of strikes I am being subjected to on a daily basis. The strike will take place will take place most morning between 9.00 am and 9.20am, on the street outside the house where I live, the protest will be led by me and two dogs, except for Saturdays and Sundays when I will be holding a John Lennon and Yoko Ono type sit-in protest inside my house, in my bed, with my eyes closed.