The Dead School

They painted the local national school near where I live. They painted it grey. They have some prefabs outside the school that are used as classrooms to deal with the overcrowding and those are grey too. It used to be bright and fresh but now it looks like Arkham Asylum.

What a way to greet the new kids coming to school for the first time in September and setting their nervous eyes on that.

Hello kids, if you have any colourful hopes or dreams please deposit them in this box near the entrance door, if you survive this colourless coma over the next few years then they will be returned to you.

Then again perhaps I am wrong, maybe it sets the tone for a world where the majority will grow up to have STD’s rather than PhD’s, you can’t mollycoddle kids these days, it’s a rough world out there, best to prepare them nice and early for the sucking vortex of anguish and despair that is ahead of them.



Learner Driver

‘I was trying to get home in time for the football,’ Jimmy said,  ‘But I was being held up by a learner driver. She was driving very slowly and kept stopping and starting the entire time.’

‘Did you beep her?’ I asked. ‘That really helps learner drivers under stress.’

‘No. I shouted come on, you stupid whore! Get a fucking move on! Then she started crying and said it would be her last lesson with me.’

Ice Bucket Challenge

I love the Ice Bucket Challenge. Watching millionaire celebrities having a bucket of ice cold water flung over their heads on YouTube is great. Despite their immense wealth they are still generous, still one of us. It cheers me up no end. And it is for a good cause. I think they should mix it up a little though.

The Lice Bucket challenge would be great. You throw a bucket of lice over someone. The entertainment aspect of this would be great as you watch celebrities tear the hair out of their head for weeks afterwards. Hilarious. And it is all for a good cause.